Renewing

Hey...it's been quite a while since i blog due to the wrapping up and closure of my education journey...Alhamdulillah with God's will I managed to obtain my Bachelor of Arts with Honours.
Since the last update, a lot of things have happened in my life and one post won't conclude what had gone by.

I realised I have been single for almost a year now and till this day, I have not found the right one. It's a shame that I can't grasp upon chances that certain people have given me and promises that was promised. Maybe it's just the fact that I can't get over my past and that it still lingers when I'm not present in reality. Or maybe I'm just not ready. I'm sorry if i have hurt anyone in my quest to find a match made in heaven...but the thing is..maybe it only will happen when I'm there..*shrugs*

On another note, I've been dreaming a lot about my ex lately and it's quite irritating.

Hey people!

hey babes! was thinking of writing a so call online book, chapter by chapter every month..tell me your views on Leave a Say! thanks!

Wardrobe malfunction?

Freedom of speech, i shall give a piece of my speech then, keyboard as my tool, i shall type whatever i feel that is burning inside of me right at this moment, parental advisory? nay...maybe fashion police? nay...not even close to fashion trends,moreover high fashion...goodnesss for goodness sake!!! change your frigging wardrobe dude!!!

You're with a new babe, doesn't she for a lil bit pamper you with some shoping spree...goodness, you should throw away down the clothes with the memories dude...i saw you with the same pants..the pants that i sew you the day it got torn during the gig, the topman t-shirts i bought you after school..thinking he needs new clothes..the united colors of benetton shirt i bought you, i know it fits perfectly...but doesn't she buy u new clothes for goodness sake????? is she pampering herself too much that she forgot the one she or the one that love her so dearly is wearing the things his ex bought??

and for goodness sake..i need my frigging fossil watch back dude.....it's been months now...u want to wait for years maybe?? wait...i don't need that watch, it has become fossil down with the memories we had...down with the things we shared, maybe someday someone will frigging dig those fossils back..but for now..who cares? it's just bones...

Femme Fatale

The phrase is French for "deadly woman". A femme fatale tries to achieve her hidden purpose by using feminine wiles such as beauty, charm, and sexual allure. Typically, she is exceptionally well-endowed with these qualities. In some situations, she uses lying or coercion rather than charm. She may also be (or imply to be) a victim, caught in a situation from which she cannot escape.

Serve her right this femme fatale then..but i believe in the current world we are living in, feminine wiles is an enigma. What about those with masculine charm? You know, a man trap in a woman's body...those that makes every girl weak in their knees..wait let me rephrase that, makes every "femme" or whoever weak..

I feel life is short to be dramatic about and that, we should leave what we think is not important to be lingering and yakking about..in my deep thoughts on my way home last night..i was questioning myself what female category do i belong to?

The independent oreo cookie, the "i still have mum to feed me", or the traditional,or more malayanized bunch of females..in simpler vocabulary for those who don't get it..Minah nyah...

I feel i'm a bit of everything, cause firstly, i do want to be abreast with the current world expectation of humanization,and that i still have my parents around to care,judge,nag,love and e.t.c..

On some days when every other girl i know wears shorts and t-shirt to bed, i still prefer the butterfly gown my mum bought me and the batik sarong that never fails to challenge me in knotting it..

A friend thought i was a minah,times when apparently i was talking and sitting beside one..When there's minahs around you, you got to try hard to talk like them cause if not, they'll be like judging you and saying things like "rambut hitam,kulit gelap nak step ong putih pulak...menyampah aku siol..takleh angkat"...Like they say, if you're a good social person, you'll try and be in their shoes (even though sometimes it doesn't fit)..

well people,i think the minah phenomenon needs to have a revolution, why not be a minah with a solid background, a minah that seeks knowledge, a minah that never fail to give up on life even though you're bless with 3 unwanted pregnancy? (for goodness sake, use protections)..a minah that has goals in life and not to live day by day as it is? Why not make minah a positive word rather than a comeback strings of negative perceptions...Cause until all minahs out there change, i rather associate myself with the kuno Malays...

Right on...if that makes you happy..my lips are sealed..*sewing lips together*

Will the real slim shady please stand up!

Things could have been different if u make an effort...I realised where i stand despite the fact that feelings make people go crazy or wild...not me not i..I tend to keep my feelings well under control and not let small little stuff hinder the path call "Friendship"..

I felt my world swirling with a bit of heart ache when i saw things happening and words uttered before my very eyes..I know feelings are solitary emotions, hrmmm..maybe at the corner of my heart..it still does exist?...but the friendship and the sisterhood built is just too much to be jeapordized..

You put in a lot of effort, you don't need to throw everything down the drain...i know i handle my maturity very well and that good friends will always be taken good care of..

And like i said...i know where i stand....

I need my drive.

Though i consider myself a strong independent person, i find it hard to find the strength and independence when facing with unwanted problems in life...all i want to do is scream in a bucket filled with water so no one else can hear...1st my fan broke down, then my lappie now is giving me unwanted problems...then...my phone went through a screen revolution, and i lost most of my friend's number..it's life ordeal that u just have to face...like they say..if u dun have stress..ur not humane enough perhaps...cause i guess if i dun handle it...i might as well retire and stay home like my two retired grandparents...following strict schedules of pension depending life..rrrriiiggghhhtt..wat the fuck am i talking about..i dun even have savings yet!

Life is life...and i need my drive back...i seem to slip away into realms of fantasies...i need to be back on track on my fucking major project....or i'm doomed....