Toodles.

I think I'll changed it to http://www.heartclips.tumblr.com/ and make it less crude.

I've moved!

I've officially moved..toodles!

http://www.fuckyeahdesignerlife.tumblr.com/

Banged up Local

New Hairstyle!

Change is for the better.

I woke up and said,

" Wait a minute! Why am I in bed?"
" Ouh..Sunday..."
" Eh..Sunday!! I got Time!"
* Took a pen knife. Took off extensions.*
*Bathed*
* Change In Process....*

Garam hair in process.....

On a side note, had a raya outing with the girlfriends and boyfies to our teachers house and our respective house. Awesome indeed. 3 cars convoy. Had Fun. MBS soon girls!

Parachute.

Selamat Hari Raya!

Selamat Hari Raya To All my muslim friends!

All good things in life

Work has been tough this Ramadhan, been getting a lot of new project and trying to nail a 1/2 million dollar project is super tough. Hope the Al-Mighty will help me through this. Belum cuba belum tahu. The bosses are counting on me. So far I'm all talking but not had yet go through the presentation process. Alhamdulillah we passed the initial stage, so now just left with the convincing of the upper management process. Really need to get down to that presentation process Shaiy...

Other than that i lost 6 kgs in the past month..yeay! Got to get use to the work out sessions and die die must go. If not, I'll definitely gain back those kgs. Life has been good alhamdulillah..been performing my duties as best as possible...Sometimes ada malas jugaklah...but I shall persevere through this.

Alhamdulillah, the effort paid off, they gave me a 15% raise of my current salary after working a year with the company. Though sometimes I feel like giving up and not work. Times when you just feel like sleeping in on a work day. ( sleeping late is not good.)

Thank You Allah for all the good things in life.

Chapter 23 : Life is full of colours.

Life has been good Alhamdulillah...Obstacles are there, I just need to overcome with courage and guidance. Having someone that you can count on to guide you through this very life is superb. I thank Allah for making me realise the mistakes I've done and the opportunity to repent. I thank him for making me realise that the only person that I was waiting for in life was right there all along. I guess the patient paid off. The 1 year courtship knowing you actually meant something. The arguments, the sarcasm the I don't bother at all anymore paid off. To the point that even though we decided to call the courtship off, it went on again unnoticed. Physicality is so far not important in my life, I've never judge a person through the outlook. I always give chances to people to prove themselve to go beyond their looks. Well I guess looks don't really matters to a certain extend of course.

Every single day of this Ramadhan has made me realized how I grew this past 2 years since tragdey strucked. From an immature to a more mature person. Like I said before, Immaturity only leads me to a better learning of maturity. I thank friends who stick through thick and thin with me no matter what life has to offer. Personally has to credit the Bestie for only she understands through and thorugh how I feel.

To my moment of life where I actually go beyond the book. It is a lesson well taught and well learnt. To all the people whom I've known during this period of time, You have all been wonderful great friends. I apologize for making this chapter of Wainbow & Wabbits rather short. When the parents found out, I just couldn't do anything anymore. All I can do is to stray away. I thank you for the beautiful colourful things that you have given me in life and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. As long as the wrong feels right, I pray that you will find the path again whatever orientation you are. God love every single one of us.

Ameen.

Mak kata.

Mak kata jangan main dengan api, nanti rumah terbakar...

Mak kata jangan ketawa banyak banyak, nanti menangis...

I am...I am...

I'm A Thief.
You see I'm a thief, who snatch things with consent,who break into someone's heart and take only what's given.I try not to give,Cause I know someday I will leave.I try not to take, and act all fake.If you stay, I hope it wont be with dismay,If you decides to leave someday, I will not stop and say "Don't go away".Even when you look into my eyes and say you love me,I know in the end, like others we will never be.Though I will embrace the love that you've given me,and not pawn it for anything earth can give me,I'll say I love you when I mean it,I'll be there for you in whatever you need.I'm apologizing first and I'll apologize later,So you'd be ready and won't get more sadder,Let's take things slowly,Cause honey, I'm not leaving that early.-Shaiy-

You want my future, you can't have it.

Shape shifting occurs under a curse or a spell. Heart shifting occurs under the influence of people.

The reason why I left, I'm sure is known public. I know dissapointment happens. It happens to everyone of us. I still remember when we were in the noughties, it was almost a difficult part of life i've to endure. The heartaches, the dissapointments, the piety moments, the darkness, the drunkness, the sleepless nights, the drugs, the fags, the impulses, the crying, now the crying, it was a torture. The sickness, the pity, the sadness, the frustrations, the revenge, the shield, the fuck-ed up moments, the I need to be strong moments, the I so hate guys right now moments, the friday moments, the saturday nights, the anger, now the anger was overwhelming. The didn't give a damn moments, the down moments. Then Happiness came, Then happiness went. Then happiness comes again, but to no where. How can I live with that? If I were to continue, all of the above mention will occur again.

I need a change, I don't need all this.

I need to live up to my quote of " Yesterday I was weaker than today and tomorrrow I shall be stronger than ever.."

I need this, You know I need this. Badly.

Window Pane.

I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like and right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe.I can't breathe but I still fight .While I can fight as long as the wrong feels right. High of a love, drunk from the hate.It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more that I suffer, I suffocate. You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe?

You cry so hard knowing how love hurts when it was so deep. You never felt that way when they came back crawling telling you things of the past. You've moved on knowing you'll never get hurt again only to find hurt from the same wound. It's like living a nightmare. You should never return to me telling me things I already know. I don't need to hear anything from you. You don't own me.
Yesterday I was weaker than today and tomorrrow I shall be stronger than ever.

Kiki & Lala

I can't wait to have Kiki, he's so adorable. I also can't wait for them to grow up and have kids. I'm constantly looking at cute little kittens. I'm definitely obsessed with them. Can't wait to build a play den room for them in the room balcony. That'll be fun!!

A Monday Blue that turns Effing Black!

Sometimes, listening to other people thoughts about your issues can drive you mad or crazy or both. Times when you asked for opinion but the opinion given is something that is not expected at all or when you don't even ask for opinions, people's mouths can't be controlled. So I suggest this to myself, rather than I kept on thinking about the other party's thoughts, I might as well listen to my own thoughts, listen to my own heart. Why should I waste time thinking about it anyway. To each it's own they say.

On another note, * Sigh *... My first shoot out from a client after almost a year working with the company. I think she's having Pre - Menopause syndrome. Thank God my creative director is the most understanding boss on earth! Honestly never met someone as such. He sat with me to solve the problem that we are facing.( Times when you already told the client it can't be done but client die die want.) DESIGN is NOT MAGIC God damn it!!

A Monday Blue that turns Effing Black!

Anugerah Skrin with the Bestie's Family

As promised, my picture with my new long hair...

Went to Mediacorp today with the bestie to support the ever manja little brother Firuz for 'Anugerah Skrin'. Thank God he got through the next round. So will be seeing bestie again as soon. Good night!

Test Test Test.

Last night I was crazzaay.

Amazingly I could wake up at 9 to rush a 10.30 am meeting at Home Team NS. In the end I was late cause there was no effin Taxi and guess what, I left my ic in my pocket of last night's nightmare. I felt so shitty. Thank god my colleague sat through the meeting while I was one hour late as I went back home to take the i/c and came back there. Thank god the meeting was good and everyone was happy and I got to chuuuiii botak guys. Them was really good looking and damn hot this abang abang police. Went I pass by, I could literally feel the whole troops eyes was on me..(biasalah kan duduk dalam tak nampak banyak sngt perempuan, nyonya cleaner kat dalam pon dorang kira canteekk ar...)..

Can't wait for 6pm to strikee!!! The time is soooo slowww....Will be heading for Mediacorp for Anugerah skrin to support the beloved bestie's lil brother, Firuz Khan. Made some green and black name for him. Hope it's good enough. See you around people! Chow chin chow!

Surprise is on it's way.

Hello people, been on my other blog, so it's a bit dusty here. Got my short hair long. Wasn't very sure about it but it turn out fine. Perhaps some thinks I look better in short hair but perhaps 2 years is a bit two long don't you think so? I like changes, what do you expect right? I'm a designer, I change things every single day. I wanted it so much that I even dream about having it, and so, I went. 300 bucks gone, but like what my aunt once told me, If you want to look pretty you got to go through a bit of pain. Well, this was a bit of pain in the pocket. Will update process and pics soon. Cheers!

Subtle Bitching.

I don't feel like doing this to myself anymore. The subtle condescending notions of the other party is a dagger. It makes me respire every time the thought of it appears on my mind. I got to comply to the rules of nature, but sometimes, the urge is too much to handle. I couldn't agree to the thought that I'm married but single at the same time. Is it true that I'm just wasting time in the scene? Or is it that I am what I am, and others just got to live with it. Who are you to judge what I want in life? You're not any superior than me either. I suggest you leave me alone.

You're just not good enough to achieve it. So live with it. Bitch.

The truth lied.

If only I can read minds, I don't need to wonder about what people real thoughts are. The things they blurt out is often faster then the real things that is going on in their mind. Be it good or bad. Sometimes we just tend to think that the best is to protect the status of things and not tell the whole truth. They say the truth hurts, but to what extend does the truth hurts that it has to lie. I conform to the point that we all need to tell the truth to someone sometimes, but have you think how true is your truth?

IF only we all have the guts to establish a means of platform where we can google each's truth feelings and thoughts, it will do wonders or it'll backfire.

I conclude, lies are genuinely lies but the truth, sometimes lied.

With Permission.

Good Lord, I've been hurting myself, I've been hurting my love ones and most of all, I've been hurting you. I thank you for the wealth of happiness and strength you gave me. Please give me the courage to face all my fears. If he's the one, I pray that you give me the serenity to provide and change. I know I've been really bad as your slave for only I care was to serve myself and not you. I went against all odds and even crossed the lines you've drawn. For only I want is to be a better slave for you. For only I need is someone that can guide me through this. You know what's in my heart, you know what's going on in my head. For only I need is for the betterment of my family and the betterment of myself and my environment. I go through this for only if you want me to go through it, even if it's a test. Dear Lord, You know how I feel deep inside. You know every inch of my thoughts and every plans Im making for my future. I hope you've given me the best that you can give. For I know that's what you've always done. All I want is to be a better follower of the Phrophet and your slave. Insya'Allah. Ameen.