im finally home...

Hi everyone...sorry for not blogging for quite a while now..i just came back two days ago and im still having the jet lag...and sleep deprivation as to the time adjustment and stuff...gosh....real hard..

well!!! apart from the adjustment and stuf.. i did enjoy my trip very very much...i went to a lot more country than i had expected...had a lot more fun...way more fun than i had anticipated and screwed my presentation last two days...i guess i got a lot of catching up to do...

on the other note.. i met someone nice whilst i was away..someone that perhaps will replace the empty jar that i've kept for some time now....will post pics of the trip here soon...just let me sleep for a bit now...cheers!

Cheers!

hi everyone...the weather's in UK is damn freezing...not snowing yet...but it's already biting me...will update pics here soon...take care everyone!!!

MeeTinG WaiNBoW & WaBBiTs..=)

Well...been a rough 24/7...staring into blank space before i sleep...ur every last msg of the day somehow is a lullabye to my sleep..make me smile through my sleep..it's a sad sad thing that ur dearest fwen is in the hospital right now fighting cancer...wish her to be well again... please be strong for her babe..that's all she needs for now..

I will quietly wait for u...

Another Chapter in my life...

No longer Chapter 19.."Meeting Him"
It's Chapter 21.."Meeting Wainbow"

80% Healthy,Honoured 20% Gay (happy) *winks* 100% ShAi

I've a new found glory.. and nothing main stream... it's out of the world to even think about it...

Departure

Been a very long time since i blog...almost a month now...been busy with school perhaps..or busy getting to know a different side of life..Dear friends, i'll be departing on the 15 of Nov by Etihad airways 1945 hrs...let me state my itinerary just so u know where on earth i am since im not going to be active online during this period of time..

15 nov- Singapore-Manchester
16 nov- Manchester to Huddersfield
Huddersfield is where my Uni is, so will be staying there for 2 weeks.

30 nov- Huddersfield-London
01 dec- London-Barcelona(Spain)
04 dec- Barcelona-London
09 dec- London-Paris
11 dec- Paris-Lauterbrunnen(Switzerland)
13 dec- Lauterbrunnen-Florence (Italy)
15 dec- Florence-Rome
17 dec- Rome-Venice
19 dec- Venice-Salzburg(Austria)
20 dec- Salzburg-Prague (Czech Republic)
22 dec- Prague-Berlin (Germany)
24 dec- Berlin-Amsterdam
26 dec- Amsterdam-London

27 dec- London-Singapore
Etihad Airway, Depart London 2040 hrs
Arrive Singapore at 2140hrs, 28 dec

28 dec- Back in Singapore

Project Runaway Competition.

I wonder if i have time for this...

My weekend retreat!! @ Leonie Studio

The greatest weekend ever! thanks to Cik Ahmad for the accomodations of his superb condo...the swimming pool was awesome...the fact that me an Azua swam at 10 at night...super quite..super relaxing...then ordered Pizza hut...took it to the 24 storey lounge and ate it with 360 degrees view of orchard...Subhanallah....the view...Talk a lot with my beloved cuzin about what has been happening to me lately....she keep on asking me to be strong and forget about things...sorry gal, i cried talking to u about things...And C. Ahmad gave me a Salvatore Ferragamore (incanto) Gift bag!!! thanks uncle!...he always gets this freebies from SIA..cause simply he's a chief steward..yeay! new parfume for me and some facial stuff!...Been a great and wonderful weekend Alhamdulillah.. If it's not for the break up..i think i wont enjoy this privilege...thanks Azua...appreciate it a lot from the bottom of my heart...and again im saying this... I love u....**winks**....Nevertheless...i will love to share some off the pics with u....others were just simply us cam hogging...so..i dare not put it up here..haha.. Enjoy!

My weekend retreat!! @ Leonie Studio

My belove Cuzzie! Azua!

This is what 5 Days of not eating proof to be fatal...

View From The 20th Storey!

View of orchard from our room!

View of Orchard-Spot Marriot and Taka!

View Again...

Our Guest Room Extravaganza!

Trying to keep it tidy for a moment..ahakz!

Night View from The Toilet Balcony...yes...the toilet u saw in the room just now..has a balcony looking at this view..


My Cuzin tangkap Emo...

I tangkap Burung...

This is taken from the toilet bath tub...yes....while ur in there..u can simply look outside and feel the life of the rich....the feeling was superb...i spent almost an hr in it...u get my drift..=P

P.S. and yes...u Suck M.A.Y!

My weekend retreat!! @ Leonie Studio

The greatest weekend ever! thanks to Cik Ahmad for the accomodations of his superb condo...the swimming pool was awesome...the fact that me an Azua swam at 10 at night...super quite..super relaxing...then ordered Pizza hut...took it to the 24 storey lounge and ate it with 360 degrees view of orchard...Subhanallah....the view...Talk a lot with my beloved cuzin about what has been happening to me lately....she keep on asking me to be strong and forget about things...sorry gal, i cried talking to u about things...And C. Ahmad gave me a Salvatore Ferragamore (incanto) Gift bag!!! thanks uncle!...he always gets this freebies from SIA..cause simply he's a chief steward..yeay! new parfume for me and some facial stuff!...Been a great and wonderful weekend Alhamdulillah.. If it's not for the break up..i think i wont enjoy this privilege...thanks Azua...appreciate it a lot from the bottom of my heart...and again im saying this... I love u....**winks**....Nevertheless...i will love to share some off the pics with u....others were just simply us cam hogging...so..i dare not put it up here..haha.. Enjoy!

My belove Cuzzie! Azua!

This is what 5 Days of not eating proof to be fatal...

View From The 20th Storey!

View of orchard from our room!

View of Orchard-Spot Marriot and Taka!

View Again...

Our Guest Room Extravaganza!

Trying to keep it tidy for a moment..ahakz!

Night View from The Toilet Balcony...yes...the toilet u saw in the room just now..has a balcony looking at this view..


My Cuzin tangkap Emo...

I tangkap Burung...


This is taken from the toilet bath tub...yes....while ur in there..u can simply look outside and feel the life of the rich....the feeling was superb...i spent almost an hr in it...u get my drift..=P


P.S. and yes...u Suck M.A.Y!

It won't be soon before long...

3 days i've been really down... Down with sickness of all sickness... i can't believe im facing this problem... it's even tough to write nowadays without shedding a tear.. The amount of it, god knows how much... astargfirullah.... When to the doctor and found out a lot of things about what illnesses im facing... She ended with a lot of advices, i just look at her with a blank face and nodded at every single word she said.. shocked perhaps... the medication for my heart seems to be helping... it's the so called perk me up, mood enlightenment pill that makes me hard to breath and the anxiety coming back.. 26 september i've to go for an X-tray... To check my pelvic area whether there's nothing wrong with my ovary and fellopian tube... Dear friends, please pray for me.. for only that i am hoping for... to be well again.. for now, i am crumbling...

The Dead Girl

you lie right there
so calm, so quiet
your heart has stopped
there is no riot

your hands- so soft
your face- so white
there's no more gasping
in the dark lonely night

your earrings on
only a position it stayed
when you used to laugh
it always swayed

your hair- so limp
no longer flowing
your heart is empty
no longger beating

your feet are still
they move no more
your cries have died
they no longer sore

you're far away
the war has ceased
and in god's arms
i hope you rest in peace...

Like a knife

"Like A Knife"

I dream a lot, I know you say
I've got to get away.
"The world is not yours for the taking"
Is all you ever say.
I know I'm not the best for you,
But promise that you'll stay.

Cause if I watch you go,You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.
These streets are filled with memories
Both perfect and in pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I'm the only one to blame.

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words they have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me,Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.
Cause today, you walked out of my life
(Stay with me, or watch me bleed)
Cause today, your words felt like a knife(I need you just to breathe.)
I'm not living this life

Seventh Day

Alhamdulillah...Praise to Allah the Lord of the worlds, the most gracious the most merciful...

Had a great day today... did my assigments.. and then cooked Sliced Fish Soup (Chinese Style) as commanded by the head Chef of the house (moi mum) haha...

Alhamdulillah had a lot of food on the table today for break fast... knowing that some of us doesn't have that privilege... After solat maghrib, mum and me decide to read Yaasin before we performed our I'syaa...Then we went to the mall to get some stuff for dad and i had chocolate chip mint ice cream! my personal favourite... All in all, today's a great day...

Question

I'm not asking for much, i'm done with him...

My Diploma FYP

Neuden (Dental Clinic)

Consultation Room

Dental Gallery


Reception Area




Looking back...thinking of the days i spent with my friends in school doing our last show for our diploma course. It's all worth the effort...

Finding Faith.

Ramadhan is a true blessing in disguise, i feel more serene and focus on what i really want to achieve in life. Having faith is essential.. it's like walking on earth with a covert guardian standing by your side whenever,wherever.

Project management yesterday was grandiose,tremendously outregeously in need of a lot of reading and researching.. makes me wonder whether im incapable of doing it..

In other not so important aspect of life, the enigma of being in companionship is still remain as an enigma. Dwelling upon the could haves and the would haves is emphatically senseless..
Oh wells...Move on!

Closure.

Today, I finally found closure...

ps.Too tired to type anything, will do it tomorrow...

Sick & Sicker

Went to school today, feel so sick i couldn't even walk properly...I thought the world was trying to play tricks with my vision...I was having heartburns i thought the sun rays penetrated through my chest...

Arrive at the sch library and listen to a redundant talk by the school librarians...my heart keep on chanting "come on already!".."come on already!"....and the lecture...i feel so shag i just want to go home... and the freaking thing is that i thought i got no class tomorrow but i freaking starting project management! The book is tremendously heavy that i swear u can kill a mocking bird with it... maybe just a mocked up bird...

Pop in a panadol with the extra kick to it... Feel like throwing up the piece of chicken part i ate...

The change is for myself and never for anyone else...I'm not Holy...and can everyone please stop being a pessimist....Damn!

Love's wound...

2nd day of the Ramadhan now...Alhamdulillah..everything is quite alright...

just one though, the wound..the fresh wound,though covered with dry blood...

Peeling pieces of it bit by bit...

Missing, just missing...

Missing the things we always do...

The jokes we shared, the straw game...

i really miss the straw game...

the Love?

just like a half empty jar, waiting for the heat to evaporate the other half...

slowly vanishing into thin air...

New Love?

Can someone please fill the freaking jar back again???

Well... i hope someone will...

I'm sorry but i guess we were not meant to be...

Photo credit flickr.com

Sajak lama..Bertemu alam baru..

A "sajak" i wrote for my friend during secondary school..


Purnama mengembang aruskan waktu...
kita bertemu berarah satu...
mengenali hidup,menimba ilmu...

Kau...Aku... telah lalu banyak liku...
Yang manis bagai madu..
Yang pahit tetap dikenang selalu...

Rahsiamu...Rahsiaku...
Rahsiaku...Rahsiamu...
Biar ia menjadi rahsia diri...
Di dalam ia kekal abadi...

Saat kita pergi...
Arah yang mungkin tidak seiringan lagi...
Satu ku pinta..Jangan kau lupa..
Persahabatan yang kita bina...

Aku berdoa agar kau berjaya...
Mungkin Belum hari ini...
Tetapi esok hari...

A promise...

A promise to him,
Is what it has been?
For love? For lust?
It's too abstract to be seen...

So there she goes living a dream
So blur, so vague it seems...

One day he changes everything,
Promise from him means nothing.
He changed her dreams, her love for him
And throws it all for his whim...

She knows it's not worth to cry,
People change and they too die,
Now she promise herself to do what's best
Forget the past and shall leave the mess...

On the day when she face her fear,
She must make something really clear,
Promise to human is something explicit,
Promise to oneself is something exquisite...

Written by Shai:
Year 2001

Sound of Joo Chiat (Work in progress) Exhibition

a picture with my classmates


looking at the projection


4 pieces of my artwork

Collage- peranakan tile style

The whole lot of them...

sketches of Joo Chiat.

For a Change...

Alhamdulillah...

Ramadhan is here again... manage not to sleep, haha... maybe excited to wake up for sahur.... nenek woke up at 4 and so i help her with the things and i finish eating by 4.30..so i slept afterwards and asked him to wake me up when azan arrived, thanks for doing it, appriciate it a lot...but ended sleeping again..haha..only to realise waking up at 6.30...performed my subuh and started reading the holy Qur'an for a while.. then, decide not sleep, realising i've to be in sch by 10..it's going to be a long day today...

Joo Chiat Opening Exhibition day today, will update the pics...

I pray to Allah s.w.t to give me strength & forgive my sins...

Thank you

Trash my thoughts and feelings about you alright...now i felt what cha told me, first you hate the person soo much.. and then you are fine with them..and then hopefully you'll be happy again.. haha for sure..

Glen Hansard - When Your Mind's Made Up

Glen Hansard - When Your Mind's Made Up

So, if you want something
And you call, call
Then'll come running
To fight, and I'll be at your door
When there's something worth running for

When your mind's made up
When your mind's made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind's made up
When your mind's made up
There's no point trying to stop it

You see, you're just like everyone
When the shit falls all you want to do is run, away
And hide all by yourself
When you're far from me,
there's nothing else

When your mind's made up
When your mind's made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind's made up
When your mind's made up
There's no point even talking

When your mind's made up
When your mind's made up

There's no point trying to fight it
So, if you ever want something
And you call, call
Then I'll come running.

MAYBE You are just right..

You are what you are...and i am what i am...

It's OVER now...

"Take A Bow"
Oh, How about a round of applause,
YeahA standing ovation
Oooooo, YeahYeah, Yeah, Yeah, YeahY
ou look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You’re so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

[Chorus]Don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a showYou really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (But it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)
You better hurry up
Before the sprinklers come on (come on)
Talkin’ bout'Girl, I love you, you’re the one
This just looks like a re-run
Please, what else is on (on)

[Chorus]And don't tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (But it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

[Bridge]Oh, And the award forThe best liar goes to you (goes to you)
For making me believe (that you)That you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech,
OhHow about a round of applause
A standing ovation
But you put on quite a showR
eally had me going
Now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (But it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow
But it’s over now.....

A new beginning..

yeay!! finally i'm happy again....not thinking so much about what happened...maybe it's true...maybe i should find someone who loves me more than u do...after all...i deserve it right...i'll enjoy life more and im going to accomplish more...yeay!!..

Got my hair cut freaking short today...and Fiona(the hairstylist) keep on asking me whether i was sure...then she told me to look for a style in the mag she gave me to see what kind of style i want...maybe due to the unclarity of my instructions...hahah....but i just told her...u know what..i dun need any style...i'm doing this more of emotionally...i told her...u do ur thang gal!...hahaha..and she cut and cut for 2 hrs...damn nice environment...nice people...i shall recommend PHASE hairdressing for you people..it's super cool and nice!!! 19.50 for wash,cut,style and it's for students like us!! wooohooo!!!!

love my cut!

NEED

I'm Cutting My hair Freaking Short...WOOHOOO!!!!

Restless....Meaningless

There's just soo much in mind..i couldn't possibly fall asleep...I need to find the indicated books by the lecturers so that i can occupy myself and not think so much..maybe reading helps...damn..something's missing....i can't possibly know what it is...as yet..

...im not pretending, and i'm not denying...just thought you were the one...but im done with you and i shall carry on..you will never see the best part of me again...

thanks for making me learnt the hard way...

Morning Rain

The thought of not wanting to call u was engulf by the deep emotional status of dissapearence..and so, i experimented by dialing your numbers and hoping the lady's voice at the end of the tone won't dissapoint me with the unavailability of the receiver..

thank god i wasn't dissapointed, your voice seems cheery, maybe happy that we're no longer together..we talk about normal stuff and every of your words seems to be digging into my heart...

After,tears(mine of course),laughter and promises,we stood by our own two feet, press the end button and moved on with our own life...everyday is a struggle, but i'm glad i've great friends with great great companies...school with political sometimes immature non-students agenda..

Life is full of shitholes, but i just need one....

Make my heart speak!

God will and i shall accept it...it's fate..and we're not fated to be together...

The drug to my pain..

Rest assured..i won't know whether this blog will help me in the endeavours that im facing...the heart aches...the sleepless nights...the sadness or madness...i just want to write and that's all that i want to do to make me stronger than yesterday..as today..i'm weaker than tomorrow...

Losing you is like losing one of my senses..but thank god..i can still survive without it..slowly..day by day..missing...just missing...luckily i'm still schooling..and thank god i still have friends who cares...at least school will occupy me..something that u won't be able to do for the rest of my life...once the sweetest thing...next,the bitterness...

I still remember your mouth..uttered the best words that i've ever heard..now, just nightmares..just thikning of it makes me sick..makes me want to throw up..makes me lose faith..im disgusted by your actions...the abuse,the physical abuse..ouh man..the abuse....and for that i still loved u..im just disgusted..

Maybe Typing Helps..

The story of life true experiences..